It’s freaking me out. It was just summer. Next thing I knew it was Christmas. It seemed to show up so quickly. I was totally unprepared. Christmas? It was just Thanksgiving. In a blink we’d crossed over into a new year.
2012 had come and gone while, to me, it felt as if it was just getting started.
Now it’s virtually the end of January. In just a few days we’ll be in the second month of the new year. And it will be spring a month later. Winter will be behind us. And yet technically, it’s still ahead of us.
But as I say it, we get that much closer to the end of it.
Summer will be upon us, before we’ve had a chance to enjoy the tulips and daffodils. Before we have a chance to catch our breath. Regain some equilibrium. To recover from the cold. To shake the snow off ourselves, one last time. To put winter clothes away.
I feel like I’ve already missed Easter. And soon it will be Thanksgiving again.
I can’t keep up.
When did time start to fly?
As a child, time always seemed to drag. I was so impatient all the time. Nothing could happen quickly enough for me. Waiting seemed endless. Long. So long. Too long. It felt like days lasted forever. Like the end of the week would never come. The seasons would never change.
A year felt like a life time.
Would it never end?
Would I ever be old enough to lose the babysitter? To stay up late? To ‘be’ the babysitter. To wear make up? To wear heels? To date? To drive? Would I? When? WHEN? How much longer must I wait? How much longer?
I was just going into high school. My first day. So excited. Feeling SO grown up. And terrified. It was a whole new ball game. Time to start thinking about the future. My future. What I’d ‘be’. When I did grow up. Did?
In a nano second I’d graduated. Had a few boyfriends. Went to art college. Started working. Rented my first apartment. Fell in love. Bought my first house. Fell out of love. Had a career. Had?? HAD?? As in past tense. As in ‘past’? As in been there, done that?
When did ‘future’ become ‘past’? What happened to ‘present’? Where’d it go? I could swear it was here a minute ago. And now it’s gone. Gone.
How’d I get ‘here’ so fast?
Back then I wanted it fast. Faster. FASTER!
Now I want it to slow down. Slower. SLOWER.
Make up your mind. What’s it to be?
Slower. Please. Slow down. Hang on a minute. I feel like Barack Obama after he was sworn in last week. As he was leaving, he turned around, looked out, paused and said: ”Let me look at this one last time. I won’t see it again.”
Neither will I. So I’d like to enjoy it while I can. Not be in such a hurry. Suddenly I’m okay with the days taking their time. Lasting forever. No need for the weeks and months and years to zip by. Where’s the fire?
What’s the rush?