Yesterday a reader commented, on my post, about avoiding the news for the last few months, because of how depressing it is. It’s true. It’s terribly disillusioning. To prove it, I decided to get yesterday’s Globe & Mail out of my recycling bin and give the headlines a quick scan. To see if I could find anything remotely positive or pleasant:
Let’s start with the front page. “Why Generation Y Should Fear Retirement”. Hmmm. Shoot me now. Not that I’m a young adult, but still. Moving further down the page, “SNC bribery probe widens to Algeria”. Not exactly cheerful, either.
So then I checked the index, to get an idea of what I had to look forward to, inside the paper. Not much, as it turned out. “Montreal’s mayor declares he is not under investigation after a raid at City Hall by anti-corruption police.” “Ottawa’s new ambassador of religious freedoms is at risk of being marginalized by Foreign Affairs, an expert warns”.
Jumping for joy yet? NOT!
“Former US. congressman Jesse Jackson Jr., the son of the famous civil-rights leader, pleads guilty to spending $750,000 in campaign funds in personal luxuries. “A day after home crowds booed the team off the ice, the Buffalo Sabres
fire long-standing coach Lindy Ruff.
As you can, no doubt imagine, I’m now thinking I’d like to get back into bed, with the covers over my head.
Page 2 has a flashback to this date in 1965. What did they choose to remember? “Malcolm X assassinated in New York ballroom.” Let’s see. Oh, here we have a double page spread on “The Next Wave of Religious Violence”. Well, let’s keep flipping those pages. Surely there’s some good news, buried somewhere.
“Strikes, counterstrikes rock Damascus”. Clearly not on this page. “Humanitarian tragedy unfolding in rebel-held north, UN says”. Not this one, either. “Man tells court he scouted targets for Hezbollah in EU”. Nope. “Balanced-budget legislation works only in theory’. Nope. Bulgarian wrestler to return gold medal”. No siree bob.
“A crisis in waiting as Italians prepare to head to the polls”. Don’t think so. “Economists warn of Canada’s bitumen cliff”. Jeez Louise. “Wal-Mart sales likely indicate cooler U.S. Spending”. Shoot me, already; and get it over with.
“Housing market continues to cool”. “Talisman cuts jobs over low gas prices”. “Heinz sued over takeover”. “Netflix faces suit over growth numbers”. “Fed uneasy with stimulus, minutes show”. “Foxconn freezes assembly-line hiring’. “New York Times Co. puts Boston Globe on the auction block”. “Lufthansa must steer new course”. God help us!
The only good news I could find, was not seeing my name in the obits. Seriously.
Just bring me the aspirin bottle and a glass of water, okay. Please. And make it snappy. Like, are you kidding me? This is how we’re supposed to start our day? Eggs over easy, with a side of misery? Badly burned toast? And bitter coffee? YUM!
And maybe some rat poison.
Time to cancel my subscription, I think. Seriously. Do I really need to immerse myself in all this gloom? Is this going to help me do my job better? Will it help me get more clients? Or do better work for them? Will this wake up my writing muse? Get her all excited and motivated? Or make me want to save more money, for my future?
Hell, I want to spend every last dime I have right now. Party my ass off. Because it doesn’t sound like there’s going to be a tomorrow. And, if there is, it sure doesn’t sound like it’s going to be much fun, does it?
I don’t know about you, but my get-up-and-go, just got-up-and-went.