Day 245. True Confessions

All right. I’m going to say it out loud. I’ve felt it for a while, now. But I haven’t talked about it. Don’t know why, really. Maybe I just wanted to have it all figured leavingout first. I don’t care about that any more. Okay, here it is.

I’m bored with Toronto.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

As cities go, Toronto has been very good to me. I have been successful here. I’ve met great people here. I’ve had a very good life here. My closest friend lives here, the one I’ve known since we were in our early twenties.

But the city bores me.

It didn’t always. But it does now.

That’s why I keep saying I want an adventure. That’s probably why, even though I don’t love my apartment, I haven’t

found another one. Oh, I have looked. Sporadically off and on. Because deep down I know moving from one apartment
to another isn’t really the solution. My boredom runs deeper than my apartment. And on some sub-conscious level, I guess I’ve known that for a while.

Frankly it’s the same with vacations. Ten days or even a month here or there isn’t what I’m after, either. Sure, it’s always nice to go away. But I’m beginning to think it’s major upheaval I’m craving. The kind that thrills you one minute and terrifies you the next.

One that challenges you on every level. One where life is nothing like what I’m used to. One where I know no one. One where nothing is familiar. One where I’d be lost for a while, maybe even for a long while, in every sense of the word. One where I might not even speak the language, although that’s certainly not a ‘requirement’.

To many of you what I’m about to say will sound ridiculous. Or like an excuse. But all you animal lovers out there will understand. If it wasn’t for my two cats, I’d have been gone a year or two ago. But I would not leave them behind. And while not impossible, taking them has its challenges.

Going to volunteer in third world countries, for example, which has interested me for quite a while, would probably mean my cats would have to stay here. Not an option for me. I’m not crazy about the idea of putting them in the cargo hold of a plane, either. Especially for a long flight. I used to know someone who worked in the baggage department for Air Canada. He used to say a lot of pets didn’t make it to their destinations alive.

Whether or not I’d find writing assignments is another consideration. Even if I moved somewhere else in Canada or the U.S. Especially in this economy. If I wasn’t volunteering, t would want to work, at least as much as I do here. For that matter, even if I was volunteering, it would be terrific if I could sell some articles relating to my experiences.

When I think about it, which I do often, I think I could probably sell some stories, even if it was to publications here. What it’s like, at my age, to just pack up and go live somewhere completely new. To leave everyone and everything behind. To start from scratch.

My issue really is my furry companions.

So this idea may have to go on hold for a while. I won’t know until I start to seriously look into where I might go and what I might do there. That’s the first step. Now that I’ve acknowledged this desire of mine, and verbalized it, I have to start doing the research. To see what is, and isn’t doable. To figure out, once I have all the facts, if it’s something I would still consider doing.

And then I either have to do it, save it for the day when there are no pets in the picture, or forget about it entirely, knowing I looked into it and decided against it. Then I can put it to rest and get on with plan B, what ever plan B is.

Which will it be? I’ll keep you posted.

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33 thoughts on “Day 245. True Confessions

  1. I understand completely about furry companions! We’re their protectors, and they rely on us for everything. And, truth be told, they accept us, unquestioningly, for who we are (boredom and all!), so it’s impossible (at least for people like us) to leave them behind.

    • Exactly. I just would never do it. I wouldn’t even go to the UK where they’d have to be in quarantine for 6 months.

    • That would definitely be my plan. There are just some places and situations where they couldn’t go. That’s what I have to look into. Those are the things I’d have to forget about. Or put off. Leaving the furry companions behind would not happen.

      • A very cool idea. I would love to do something like that. But with my sense of direction (even with GPS) i’d probably spend a year going around in circles. I have lived in Toronto for almost. 30 years and I still get lost. Thanks! Maybe if I ever learn how to read a map.

  2. I get it. Three large-ish dogs rule out moving to places where apartment living is the norm. Of course, Bruce’s veto also rules those places out too. Can’t wait to hear what happens next.

    • Thanks. At the moment I’m not even know I know where to start. Just that I want to start. As for apartments I don’t think you’d like it either. You love your garden way too much.

  3. Met a Lady on Saturday night recently retired, now single, purchased a motorcycle and is off on her own for the next three months to Portugal camping away as she said herself “from the touristy places” perhaps something in that line Fransi?

      • I looked into volunteering at an elephant sanctuary in Africa. Would love to do that. The sanctuary I really wanted to go to does not accept volunteers. No place to house them. Also they worry that the ellies will become too attached to volunteers who leave after a month or two or even a year. Theirs is an orphanage for babies whose parents have been slaughtered. I did eventually find another one, but they had an incident. One of the elephants attacked its keeper. So they weren’t accepting volunteers. That may have changed by now, I haven’t checked in a while.

  4. Maybe it’s time to move to the country and depend less on downtown conveniences and entertainment. You could rent a place with a garden and grow your own food. I know a horse barn that would be happy to let you shovel sh*t.

    • Thanks. I’ve shoveled more than enough of it already, metaphorically speaking. Don’t know if I’m a country girl. A cottage on a beach, on the other hand …

  5. May I be so bold as to suggest small adventures, with a home base of Toronto? You can find someone to come in to your home and bond with your cats, so that when you’re away, adventuring, they are comfortable in their own space. After all, cats, especially, own the place. 😀

    • Used to do exactly that. Had a wonderful gal who loved my cats and they loved her. Never missed me when I was gone. But she moved to Vancouver, woe is me. I have some other choices, not as living as she is, but good nontheless. I have just been craving a ‘bigger’ adventure. We’ll see. I’m a big believer in fate. So we will see. Thanks for your suggestion. It’s a great one. Now if you can just make that gal move back to Toronto … 🙂

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