All right. I’m going to say it out loud. I’ve felt it for a while, now. But I haven’t talked about it. Don’t know why, really. Maybe I just wanted to have it all figured out first. I don’t care about that any more. Okay, here it is.
I’m bored with Toronto.
As cities go, Toronto has been very good to me. I have been successful here. I’ve met great people here. I’ve had a very good life here. My closest friend lives here, the one I’ve known since we were in our early twenties.
But the city bores me.
It didn’t always. But it does now.
That’s why I keep saying I want an adventure. That’s probably why, even though I don’t love my apartment, I haven’t
found another one. Oh, I have looked. Sporadically off and on. Because deep down I know moving from one apartment
to another isn’t really the solution. My boredom runs deeper than my apartment. And on some sub-conscious level, I guess I’ve known that for a while.
Frankly it’s the same with vacations. Ten days or even a month here or there isn’t what I’m after, either. Sure, it’s always nice to go away. But I’m beginning to think it’s major upheaval I’m craving. The kind that thrills you one minute and terrifies you the next.
One that challenges you on every level. One where life is nothing like what I’m used to. One where I know no one. One where nothing is familiar. One where I’d be lost for a while, maybe even for a long while, in every sense of the word. One where I might not even speak the language, although that’s certainly not a ‘requirement’.
To many of you what I’m about to say will sound ridiculous. Or like an excuse. But all you animal lovers out there will understand. If it wasn’t for my two cats, I’d have been gone a year or two ago. But I would not leave them behind. And while not impossible, taking them has its challenges.
Going to volunteer in third world countries, for example, which has interested me for quite a while, would probably mean my cats would have to stay here. Not an option for me. I’m not crazy about the idea of putting them in the cargo hold of a plane, either. Especially for a long flight. I used to know someone who worked in the baggage department for Air Canada. He used to say a lot of pets didn’t make it to their destinations alive.
Whether or not I’d find writing assignments is another consideration. Even if I moved somewhere else in Canada or the U.S. Especially in this economy. If I wasn’t volunteering, t would want to work, at least as much as I do here. For that matter, even if I was volunteering, it would be terrific if I could sell some articles relating to my experiences.
When I think about it, which I do often, I think I could probably sell some stories, even if it was to publications here. What it’s like, at my age, to just pack up and go live somewhere completely new. To leave everyone and everything behind. To start from scratch.
My issue really is my furry companions.
So this idea may have to go on hold for a while. I won’t know until I start to seriously look into where I might go and what I might do there. That’s the first step. Now that I’ve acknowledged this desire of mine, and verbalized it, I have to start doing the research. To see what is, and isn’t doable. To figure out, once I have all the facts, if it’s something I would still consider doing.
And then I either have to do it, save it for the day when there are no pets in the picture, or forget about it entirely, knowing I looked into it and decided against it. Then I can put it to rest and get on with plan B, what ever plan B is.
Which will it be? I’ll keep you posted.