Day 352. Beyond Obnoxious!

Okay, enough already. Never has a vagina been under so much scrutiny. World-wide, I might add. I’m speaking, of course, of Monday’s Royal birth. I know anything to do with the Royals sells newspapers and raises ratings. But come on, give me a break.

Press have been camped outside of the hospital for weeks now. In this economy how can anyone justify the cost of sending, and housing, journalists in the UK for weeks. For what? To be the first to shoot a photo of an infant bundled in a blanket? A photo op that really could be covered by a wire-service photographer.

How sick are we to to be this obsessed?

We’ve lost our minds. And our civility. But the worst of the worst, the network that has brought “invasion of

privacy” to a new high — or more to the point — a new LOW is CNN. Does anyone over there ever stop to think of what they’re doing? How they look to the rest of the world?

Not knowing that Monday would turn out to be the day, I’d planned to stay home and work instead of going to Starbucks, as usual. I had lots of phone calls to make and also had a Skype meeting — not conducive to being out in public. So while I was having my breakfast I turned on the TV. I rarely watch morning television and decided to treat myself.

That’s how I found out the Duchess and her husband, Prince William, had managed to sneak, undetected, into the hospital in the wee, small hours of the morning. I switched back and forth from CBC in Canada to ABC, NBC and CBS. It was pretty much the same. It was just one of the news items they were covering.

Then, because I really am a glutton for punishment, I turned to CNN. I watched in horror, and fascination, as the anchors in the U.S. badgered their UK counterparts with the same questions over and over and over again. “Is she past her due date? When was her due date? What time did they get there? How’d they get in without anybody seeing them? Who’s in there with her? When do you think we’ll hear something? How will we know when she’s had the baby?”

Like maniacs they flipped back and forth, from the hospital to Buckingham Palace. From royal historian, to royal biographer, to royal expert to reporter. And reporter. And reporter. Back home they had an endless supply of ‘experts’ they interviewed. Doctors who discussed how long her labour might last and whether or not she’d get anything for pain. As if they’d knew what was going on.

Parenting specialists with tips for the Royal couple, on how to best bond with their little bundle of joy. As if their advice had been asked for. Really, how rude. And pretentious. And condescending. And outrageous. Anyone with any kind of a connection, no matter how remote, to the Royals was interviewed. And then there was the endless amount of conjecturing among themselves, between anchors.

Nonstop, it was.

As the hours went on the questions and the conversations and the speculation got worse. And worse. And worse. “Is she having a natural birth? Has she had an epidural? Is she having a C-section? Will they have a nanny? Will they be hands-on parents? How will they care for a baby with their schedules? Do we know what names they’ve picked if it’s a girl, or if it’s a boy? What does her room in the hospital look like? Can you tell us what the delivery room looks like? Is her mother with her? Does the Queen know yet? Boy, she’s been in labour a long time. That can’t be fun. Poor Kate. Ouch. Isn’t it taking too long? When will they go home? Where will they go once they leave the hospital? When will we hear something? How will we know the baby’s been born?”

The poor kid hadn’t even been brought into the world yet, and they were flashing his or her ‘title’ on the screen. “His or her Royal Highness, (insert name), the Prince of Cambridge”. Yeah, just like that.

Disgusted as I was, I couldn’t tear myself away from the spectacle. At least for about an hour. Then I went to work, although I did keep the TV on so I’d know what was going on. Not with the birth. I just wanted to see how low CNN could go.

They didn’t disappoint. Their coverage went on all day and evening. I went to bed at 11:30 and they were still at it. For all I know, it went on all night.

Once the wee one was born I thought their feeding frenzy would be over. No such luck. It got worse. Then they wanted birthing details. Believe it or not they actually flashed “Baby not born by c-section” along the bottom of the screen, where it stayed all evening. Can you imagine?

Whose bloody business is that?

But wait, there’s more. As each hour passed they became more and more frustrated because there was no announcement of a name. It drove them nuts. They asked the same question a thousand times, to dozens of their reporters.

Pity the poor British Ambassador to the United States. He was in Wolf Blitzer’s clutches for close to an hour, I think. I lost count of how many times he asked him what the name might be and when we’d hear what it is. I would have paid good money to be inside the Ambassador’s head, is all I can say. What he must have been thinking about Wolf Blitzer, CNN and Americans, in general, God only knows.

It looked like it tortured them to have to move on and switch their coverage from the UK to Laguardia Airport, where a plane had to make an emergency landing. Heaven forbid they’d have to cover real news!

You won’t be surprised to know the vultures were back at it yesterday morning, bright and early. I turned my TV on at 7:00 a.m. just to check before I left for the hospital. Volunteer day.

Yes, I’m well aware I don’t have to watch CNN. I rarely do. Am I the only one who feels this way? Am I the only one who just cannot bear to watch them anymore?