What is it about Cheerios? Why do all mothers of really young children never leave the house without a small plastic baggie filled with them? And what is it about them that keeps every wee one I’ve ever seen quiet, happy and occupied, even for hours?
Have you ever paid attention when little kids are around? Doesn’t matter where you are. It could be grandma’s kitchen, a restaurant, a doctor’s waiting room, a store, a car stuck in traffic or an every-seat-is-filled-with-tired-cranky-adults-who-have-no-patience-for-crying-babies airplane cabin.
Out comes the baggie, shake shake shake some Cheerios on the highchair or seat tray, the table top, even a blanket on the floor. Instant quiet. Instant no more tears. Instant smiles. Instant busy. Instant happiness. Instant sigh of relief from the adults in the room, as everyone watches, with baited breath, as a pudgy, little finger reaches out, picks up one teensy “o” at a time and delivers it directly into the waiting, open, toothless mouth. Okay, so some of the mouths have a tooth or two. What’s the difference?
A delightfully slow process that is repeated over and over again until all the “o’s” are gone or baby gets tired and falls asleep. Also a good outcome, by the way.
And have you noticed how it doesn’t take a huge quantity to keep Junior happily busy either. At that age it seems even eight or ten Cheerios will do.
Hard as I try I can’t see the appeal. I’ve tried them myself and find them absolutely tasteless. Even the Honey Nut variety. Even with the addition of ice cold milk and fresh fruit. Of course babies’ palates aren’t as sophisticated as ours are, I get that. But still, don’t you think they taste like wood shavings (Cheerios, not babies).
I have wondered about this for far too long (should I even be confessing to such a thing lest you think I need a life; and don’t answer that). So in the hopes you can finally put me out of my misery, I am appealing to those of you who’ve experienced the joy, the peace and quiet, the satisfaction only Cheerios can deliver, to shed some light on the mystery.
That’s right. Only Cheerios. No other cereal will do. Don’t believe me? Have you ever seen a mother take out a baggie of Corn Flakes? Or Special K? Or Shreddies? Or Rice Krispies? Or Bran Buds (just kidding, what a nappy nightmare that would turn out to be). Again, why I don’t know. Maybe you do and you’ll let us all know. I, for one, would appreciate it.
Wouldn’t it be great if there was an adult version? Something that would stop husbands and boyfriends from bitching when the women in their lives force them to tag-a-long on their shopping excursions. Like, maybe, beer-flavoured Cheerios. Or rum-soaked Cheerios. Or bacon-crusted Cheerios. Or valium-laced Cheerios.
You know, I may be on to something here. Where do I go to patent an idea?