If my mother was still here …

… she’d be excited as hell today. It’s her birthday, and she loved celebrating them. She loved celebrating anyone’s, but she’d start anticipating hers weeks in advance.

It wasn’t about the gifts. She never wanted gifts. She did like getting cards, the more mushy the better. She saved them all, every last one. She wasn’t a hoarder at all — quite the opposite in fact — but she kept cards.

But mostly for her, her love of birthdays was about the cake and blowing out the candles — and the more candles there were, the better she liked it. So getting older didn’t bother her at all, she wore it like a badge of honour. Which, when you think about it, it is.

She’d have a huge smile on her face, clap her hands and squeal with excitement. It was all about the fun and having a great time with friends and family.

When it came to her personality, she was a Leo through and through. She was bubbly, friendly, outgoing. Always smiling, she could be described as having a sunny disposition. She talked to everybody. And she was the eternal optimist. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, ever got her down. She fiercely protected those she cared about and she was loyal to a fault.

What’s interesting is, my mother was a twin and they were born a few weeks prematurely. So if my grandmother had carried my mother and aunt to full term, they would have been Virgos. And my mother definitely also had some Virgo in her.

To say she was neat and clean is an understatement. She re-organized her purse every night before she went to bed. Everything she took out of a closet or a drawer was returned to the same spot and all her hangers always faced the same direction. Always. As a kid it used to drive me nuts and I wanted to go in after her and mess everything up. I never did, but let me tell you, there were a lot of times I wanted to.

My mother was affectionate and loving and was devoted to my father; and, for that matter to her friends, to me, to her sisters, to her parents, even to our pets. To do things for others gave her great joy. It really did and she was always there, for everyone. She was very giving.

Which is why it was always so wonderful to give back to her and why I always made a big deal out of her birthday. It’s one of the things I miss most, now that she’s gone.

We’d definitely be going out for dinner tonight — or I’d be cooking dinner for her, her friends and my friends, who she loved. And there’d definitely be cards and cake and candles and a lot of smiles and laughter.

I hope that’s what’s happening wherever she is. Happy Birthday Mumsie

4 thoughts on “If my mother was still here …

  1. It is indeed wonderful to have happy, fond memories while so many are in the opposite camp Fransi our mother who’s first anniversary occurs in a month from now would be a mirror image of your Mum. it is great that we can celebrate.

    • We are so lucky to have the wonderful memories we have and also that we can celebrate. So cheers to our wonderful mothers Chris!

  2. Reading your blog much too late to be up, but in perfect peace. The picture of your mother comes to me so clearly, as you have shared it with us several times. What lovely memories Fransi! What a beautiful legacy of love and joy she left to you and how fortunate are we that you so generously share it with us. If I may join you in celebrating this memorable day, I feel deeply honored!

    • Thank you so much Daisy. I am grateful to be able to share my memories with you. It’s a shame you never got to meet my mom in person, I know you would have liked each other.

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