Some things never change, and they shouldn’t …

When my mom decided she wanted to move from Montreal to Toronto, she came and stayed with me for a month, while she looked for an apartment.

The area where I lived at the time, Av & Dav as the locals call it (Avenue Road and Davenport), was and still is known for a one-block-long strip of shops selling flowers and plants and a diner, the Avenue Diner. They’re landmarks, and not just in that specific ‘hood. Cars are double and triple parked outside the flower shops on weekends, people come from all over the city. And the diner, which has always been owned by the Continue reading

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Hmmmm …

I’m having trouble focusing lately. My mind is very busy, wandering here, there and everywhere. I’m not particularly troubled by it, there’s a lot going on in the world in general, not to mention everything that’s going on in my own, little world, so I guess it’s to be expected.

This is a time of introspection and change, that I know, and I’m good with that. What I don’t know is where it will all net out; and I guess Continue reading

A reflective state of mind …

I seem to be doing a lot of thinking lately.  Pondering.  Soul-searching.  Reviewing.  Evaluating.  Looking back.  Reflecting.  Not entirely sure why, to be honest.  Maybe it’s Man Sitting In Valleyin preparation for a change.  I wouldn’t mind.  I like change.  I crave change.

Life would be awfully boring if we just stayed the same, don’t you think?  Frankly, I’m probably due for a biggie.  I think it’s been in the works for a while, you know.  I’ve had that ‘unsettled’ feeling.  In a good way, not a bad way.  Not scary at all.  Sort of like when you know you’re going to sneeze.  It starts suddenly, with a little tickle.  It builds, and builds until it becomes strong.  Uncontrollable.

And then, ready or not, here it comes!  And what a relief it is.

Exciting, actually.  Changes and transitions, not sneezing.

So if anything, I’m impatient for it.

But ‘change’ isn’t what I want to talk about. Regrets are what’s on my mind at the moment.  It’s only natural Continue reading

Day 245. True Confessions

All right. I’m going to say it out loud. I’ve felt it for a while, now. But I haven’t talked about it. Don’t know why, really. Maybe I just wanted to have it all figured leavingout first. I don’t care about that any more. Okay, here it is.

I’m bored with Toronto.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

As cities go, Toronto has been very good to me. I have been successful here. I’ve met great people here. I’ve had a very good life here. My closest friend lives here, the one I’ve known since we were in our early twenties.

But the city bores me.

It didn’t always. But it does now.

That’s why I keep saying I want an adventure. That’s probably why, even though I don’t love my apartment, I haven’t

Continue reading

Day 193. Take Heed

I’d wanted to write about this the day after President Obama’s State of the Union address, but I got distracted.  Oh, don’t worry, this isn’t a ‘political’ post.  I’m not about to dissect nowhereevery word he said.  The media has already done it.

Done it.  And done it.  And done it.  I just want to talk about two sentences in his speech :  “We were never sent here to be perfect.  We were sent here to make what difference we can.” 

Truer words were never spoken.  What struck me was, the sentiment applies to almost every human endeavour you can think of.  We are so obsessed with ‘getting it right’ all the time, sometimes we never get started.  We stay stuck.  We go nowhere.  And you know what?  We end up losing by default.

We’re so afraid we won’t be good enough, we never sign up for those art classes we’ve always wanted to take.  Or the dance lessons.  Or we don’t apply for a job we’d like for fear we wouldn’t get it. We’re afraid our low offer might be rejected, so we don’t bid on the house we like.   Or we don’t ask the pretty girl out.  Or start training for the marathon.  Or enter the golf tournament.

Because if we don’t think we can ace it, we’ve made ourselves believe it’s not worth trying.

The amount of money we have to raise seems like an impossible task so, instead, we do no fundraising at all.   Continue reading