A reflective state of mind …

I seem to be doing a lot of thinking lately.  Pondering.  Soul-searching.  Reviewing.  Evaluating.  Looking back.  Reflecting.  Not entirely sure why, to be honest.  Maybe it’s Man Sitting In Valleyin preparation for a change.  I wouldn’t mind.  I like change.  I crave change.

Life would be awfully boring if we just stayed the same, don’t you think?  Frankly, I’m probably due for a biggie.  I think it’s been in the works for a while, you know.  I’ve had that ‘unsettled’ feeling.  In a good way, not a bad way.  Not scary at all.  Sort of like when you know you’re going to sneeze.  It starts suddenly, with a little tickle.  It builds, and builds until it becomes strong.  Uncontrollable.

And then, ready or not, here it comes!  And what a relief it is.

Exciting, actually.  Changes and transitions, not sneezing.

So if anything, I’m impatient for it.

But ‘change’ isn’t what I want to talk about. Regrets are what’s on my mind at the moment.  It’s only natural Continue reading

The end of an era …

About three weeks ago, I wrote about my aunt, Leatrice, the last of my mother’s sisters. In my heart I knew, that day, she was not doing very well. I spoke with her every week and when I got off the phone after we talked for what turned out to be the last time, I was really concerned about her. What I didn’t know, BloomSisterswas just how rapidly she would decline. Unfortunately she passed away eight days ago.

She’s the one in the middle in the photograph. My mother is on the left and her twin sister, on the right. The twins were seven years older than my aunt. She looks about six or seven, I’m guessing — the smocked dress is a give-away, don’t you think? So they would have been thirteen or fourteen. Teenagers, although to me, they look older — more sophisticated. It’s probably the lipstick that was added to the photograph later. And the rouge, as it was called in those days.

I love this photo. The first time I saw it was at my cousin’s house, after my aunt’s funeral. Obviously in those days there were no colour photographs, so this was tinted. The three of them look like they’re in a

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Day 331. Hmmmm … Hmmmm …

What to do? What to do? Which do I choose? Door Number One? Two? Three? Decisions, decisions. Left? Or right? This? That? Or the other? Yes? Or no? choices Here? There?

Sorry. Certainly not everywhere.

Think again. So many choices. It’s both a blessing and a curse. Too much of a good thing, you know? What to do, what to do? It happens to the best of us. What’s the right decision? What are the consequences, should the wrong decision be made?

Another thought-provoking idea from the WordPress Daily Prompt team: “Pinpoint a moment in your past where you had to make a big decision. Write about that other alternate life that could have unfolded.”

None of us can ever escape unscathed. None of us can get through life without having to make tough

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Day 328. New Rules?

Live forever? What an intriguing idea. I wouldn’t mind, would you? There are so many things I’d like to do, so many trips I’d like to take, so many opportunities yet to be seized, I always say there’s magicnot nearly enough time for me to get it all done. It frustrates me, to be honest. Guess that’s why I was so drawn to yesterday’s WordPress Daily Prompt:

“You’ve imbibed a special potion that makes you immortal. Now that you’ve got forever, what changes will you make in your life? How will you live life differently, knowing you’ll always be around to be accountable for your actions?”

Like I said, “interesting”. At first my mind just boggled with all the possibilities.

In my head, I’ve got some thoughts about two books. In addition to the one I’m writing. I’d have plenty of time to write them all; and then some. I’d get to Australia and New Zealand and Tahiti and Fiji and Bali and

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Day 304. Truly Inspiring

I’m always providing links to blogs I’ve read and really enjoyed. Or where I’ve found the inspiration for a post of my own. But I’ve never actually written out the soulcontent of another blog.

So today is a first for me. I was so moved, so touched and so inspired by what I read the other day, I knew a link just wouldn’t do it justice. The words themselves, the spirit behind them and the lesson to be learned, is just too powerful.

Particularly when you consider the poem I’m going to share with you was written by a young girl. Only fourteen or fifteen years old, in fact. But first, some background.

Elizabeth Blue, who wrote the poem, passed away on September 23, 2012, from lymphoma. Wise and talented far beyond her years, she was a gifted and prolific writer. She and her mother started a blog, Luminous Blue, when she first became ill. It’s purpose — to tell she story of their journey “with transformation, cancer, death and LOVE”. I’ve been following it for about a year.

Even though Elizabeth is gone, the blog goes on. What you’re about to read is the poem Elizabeth wrote when she was in her freshman year of high school 2004 – 2005. Long before she got sick. Long before there was even a hint her life would be cut short. Long before she’d experienced enough of life to be this wise. This ‘connected’ to her soul. I read it

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Day 287. Sound Advice

Kate, who writes Views and Mews by Coffee Kat, had a wonderful post yesterday, about her mother.  More specifically, it was a story about one time she hotdogs(Kate) had to take her mother to the hospital; and how, when they were on their way, her mom made her stop at a restaurant for lunch.

It immediately made me think of my own mother.  And a trip (one of several) we made to the hospital.

When my mother was in her sixties she was diagnosed with diabetes.  She was put on medication and was watched, like a hawk, by an endocrinologist.  Despite her fondness for chocolate her numbers were always excellent, until the day she died.  They always hovered just slightly above normal.

What will always mystify me, though, is why her body was literally ravaged by the disease, even though her diabetes was so well controlled.  She had every known complication you could think of.  Diabetic retinopathy, Continue reading

Day 251. Meandering Tales

No, it’s not a typo. Or a spelling mistake. I didn’t mean to write ‘trails’. I meant to write exactly what I wrote: ‘Tales”. “Meandering Tales”. David Sedaris was in meanderingtown last night. And I went with a friend. It was her idea. I didn’t even know he was coming.

I’m a fan, so I agreed immediately. And his ‘show’ was every bit as good as I’d hoped. Maybe even better.

The place was packed; and it’s a very large venue. Sometimes I think I really do walk around in a fog. That I’m oblivious to what’s going on all around me. I didn’t realize he was so popular. I didn’t expect it to be sold-out.

What planet do I inhabit? Really.

H E L L O.

Earth calling Fransi, I guess.

In case you’re not familiar with him, he’s a writer. A very prolific writer. An author. And humorist. And comedian. And

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Day 222. Oh Shit!

Yeah, I’m having one of those.  Everything I touch.  Everything.  So I’m doing something unusual.  I’m writing tomorrow’s post today.  Don’t give yourself a tearsheadache trying to figure it out.  I’m doing it for me.  For my sanity.  For my mental health.  Consider it therapy.

I’m thinking if I get rid of it, now, I’ll feel better.

And by the time you read this, tomorrow, I’ll be fine.  Giggling.  Chirping merrily away.  Not even remembering today.  As if it never happened.

No, I’m not going to go into detail.  I’m not going to tell you what’s gotten me so riled up.  It doesn’t matter.  It’s irrelevant.  And it’s a bunch of stuff anyway.  Like I said before, everything I’ve touched so far today, has turned into doo doo.

What I am going to do, is put all my recently-discovered enlightenment to work.  In other words, I’m going to put my money where my mouth is.  I’m going to practice what I preach.  I’m going to get over it.  Put it behind me.  Rise Continue reading

Day 172. No Shit

Thought I’d share another one of those ‘thoughts’ from my friend’s email with you. From the other day. One was actually the subject of yesterday’s blog post. This one made me giggle; and brought more than a few images to mind. But humour aside, there is a valid pigeonlife lesson in it. Something well worth remembering:

“Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.”

This is very true. And the sooner we accept it, get over it, deal with it, learn to live with it and move on the better. Otherwise life gets to be a real drag.

For some reason I seem to think I’m the statue more often. What about you?

Maybe it’s because those ‘events’ are more memorable. They’re usually more dramatic, that’s for sure. And very often they teach you something. Leave a lasting impression. And I’m not talking about the visible ‘stains’, either. Just want to clarify.

None of us is immune. None of us will get through life unscathed. We’re all bound to have both good and bad days. And frankly, life would be awfully boring, if every day was the same. If everything went exactly as we wanted it to go, all the time.

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Day 152. Great Start

We’re just a few days into the New Year, and already I am lucky enough to have a fellow blogger think my blog is worthy of recognition.  Just the other evening I realityblogawardreceived an email from the young woman behind the blog, Cancer In My Thirties, telling me she was nominating me for the Reality Blog Award.

I can’t tell you how touched I am.  With everything going on in her own life, to think she even takes the time to read my blog amazes me, thrills me and humbles me. I hope you read her blog.  Her willingness to share what she’s going through, and the honesty with which she writes, really deserves your time.  You won’t be sorry, trust me.  She is a courageous and inspiring woman, is all I can say.

There are no ‘rules’ that go along with this one.  There are some questions; and because they are different from all the others, I am going to answer them.  So here goes:

1.  If you could change something about your life what would you change?

Nothing.  I stand by the decisions and choices I’ve made.  Mistakes and all.  I get to do the one thing I have wanted to do since I was a young girl.  I am a writer.  How lucky am I?  Sure, when we get the chance to look Continue reading