Creature of habit

I really have no idea what made me think of this particular topic, but once I did, I really got into it and decided to take a closer look at myself. Turns out I have some pretty strange habits:

  • Brush my teeth before washing my face.
  • Shower before brushing my teeth.
  • Eat the same breakfast every day — fresh fruit, plain greek yoghurt, honey, chopped walnuts and a bit of granola.
  • Make the bed before having breakfast.
  • Have breakfast before getting dressed.
  • Dress in the same order — first bottom, then shoes, then watch, then top.
  • Replace vitamins, shampoo, detergent, condiments etc. when I’m halfway through them.
  • Take vitamins in the same order.
  • Empty the bottom half of the dishwasher before the top.
  • Read the Sunday New York Times in the same order — Style section, News, Arts, Sunday Business, Sunday Review, Travel, the Magazine and the Book Review last.

There’s no doubt in my mind there’s more. But I’m not sure I want to know.

Should I be admitting to any of this? Is it time for an intervention? Should I be seeking medical help? Do you feel like coming over to my apartment, throwing everything on the floor and mixing it all up so I’m forced to do it all in a different order (not that I’d blame you if you did, I’m tempted to do it myself)?

Okay, your turn now.

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Now it’s my turn to go under the microscope …

I love watching people and trying to figure out what makes them tick. It’s something I’ve always done. Except when it comes to myself. At least not that deep exploration that really digs way beneath the surface to find that “stuff” we’re all so good at burying.

Until now.

Because that long, wonderful, illuminating conversation I had recently with a friend has made me curious about myself — and Continue reading

Day 117. No Regrets

It was bleak here yesterday.  Very bleak.  No blue showing in the sky at all.  Just thick, opaque grey clouds that were too heavy to float.  They were introspectionjust hanging there, like a painter’s drop cloth, dangling from a ceiling.  Lumpy.  Still.  Oppressive.  Dark.  Dingy.  Gloomy.

Somber.

Leafless, lifeless trees.  A cold wind, blowing.  From my fifteenth floor apartment, I could hear it howling like the soundtrack to a Halloween horror film.  And it was cold, too.  That damp, raw cold that makes you shiver.  The cold you feel under your skin.

Winter cold.

This truly is, hands down, my  least favourite time of the year.  No redeeming qualities.  It just looks, and feels, like death.

Which in some ways, it is.  It makes me want to crawl into a cave, from which I emerge in the mid to late Spring.  When the tulips and daffodils are just starting to peek their heads out of the still hard, cold earth.  November totally saps my energy.  And yesterday,  it put me into a reflective state of mind.

Introspective.

And it was the absolutely perfect day for it.  My exploration into my heart, my soul and my psyche revealed a lot that I already knew.  That, like a moth to a flame, I Continue reading

Day 31. Navel Gazing

Day 31.  I’ve been at this for a month.  Can’t believe it, actually.  Yes, there have been days when I’ve woken up, groaned and thought:  “Oh, I don’t have time to think of an idea and write a blog today.”  And then, miraculously, an idea pops into my head and next thing you know, it’s done.  For another day.  Sometimes, several ideas pop into my head and I write notes on them (so I won’t forget) and store them away, like a squirrel saving nuts for the winter.

The bottom line is, I’m having a blast.  And the month has flown by.  Really.

As part of my wow-it’s-been-30-days-and-counting celebration, I decided I’d re-read all my stories.  One after another, as if I was reading a book.  It took quite a while.  About two thirds of the way through I realized, because so many of them are about my own personal experiences and memories, likes and dislikes, I’m revealing myself to myself.  I’m becoming aware of aspects of me I wasn’t all that conscious of before.  It’s like looking in a mirror and seeing your soul reflected back at you.  It’s interesting.  Enlightening.  And a bit weird.

So what have I discovered?  Well, I can’t be described in just one word, I’m complex.  There are a lot of layers to me; and the more you peel away, the more is revealed:  I’m observant.  Sensitive.  Emotional.  Kind.  Serious.  Cynical.  Compassionate. Loving.  Appreciative.  Demanding.  Giving.  Creative.  Tolerant.  Intolerant.  Introspective.  Outgoing.  Friendly.  Bold.  A loner.  Inquisitive.  Adventurous.  Affectionate.  Honest.  Spiritual.  Aesthetical. Independent.  Liberal.  Patient.  Impatient.  Superstitious.  Open.  Passionate.  Loyal.  Indulgent.  Sincere.  Judgemental.  Self aware.  And that’s just for starters.  Just kidding!!!

All that from thirty blog posts?  Well, yeah.

But my most significant discovery is this:  When you look at the list of characteristics that define me, they’re pretty much the same characteristics that define each Continue reading