Can’t they just wire his jaw shut?

I’m speaking, of course, about the asshat-in-chief — you-know-who I mean — who recently stuck his foot in his mouth, yet again, when, with a look of utter surprise on his face (like he couldn’t believe his eyes), he turned to France’s new First Lady and said: “You’re in such good shape.”

As if that wasn’t bad enough, he then turned to her husband, President Emmanuel Macron, and  repeated it to him, equally incredulously  —

As we hurtle toward another new year …

When I was young I was impatient. I couldn’t wait to be 13, then 16, then 18, then 21. I couldn’t wait to become a teenager, to drive, to date, to vote, to work, to live on my own. Time moved so slowly, too slowly. It drove me crazy.

Now that I’m in my dotage it’s the exact opposite. I can’t keep up, can’t keep track. The days turn into weeks and months and years and decades way too quickly. It’s not fair, what’s the rush?

Why can there be no happy medium?

Don’t bother trying to come up with an answer. It’s one of those

In praise of older women (and men) …

I’ve got aging on my mind right now.

There’s a birthday in my not too distant future. And everywhere you turn somebody’s bringing it up (age, not my birthday.) The presidential race seems to have become about Marco Rubio being too young, Bernie Sanders being the oldest candidate ever and how, to all the experts’ surprise, Hillary Clinton’s not connecting with young women.

One of this year’s Screen Actors Guild Award nominees is nine years old. Had he also been nominated for an Oscar he