A Post on Sow, Sew, So yesterday reminded me I have a birthday coming up this month. It also reminded me I have to renew my driver’s license. This year I also have to have a new photo taken. Oh noooooooooooo!
Oh yes. And I’ve got to do it, pronto. The notice has been sitting on my kitchen counter for a couple of months.
Yes, I’m well aware I’ve been putting it off.
Don’t put your hands on your hips and tell me to stop procrastinating. Don’t shake your finger under my nose. Don’t warn me of the pitfalls of letting my license lapse. Before you chastise me, go look at the photo on your driver’s license. And while you’re at it, have a look at your passport photo as well.
Well, I’m waiting. Uh huh …
Exactly my point.
Why is it, no matter how much time we spend fixing our hair and putting on make-up, we always look like we should be behind bars in these photos? Why is it we always end up looking like Public Enemy #1? Simon Legree? Tilly The Toiler? An ax murderess?
Can you explain it to me?
Now you know why I’ve been putting it off.
I have NEVER, had either a passport or driver’s license photo where I looked even remotely decent. Just once it would be nice to have something I wasn’t embarrassed to show anyone. Just once it would be nice to have something I could look at, without grimacing. Or reaching for the phone to book an appointment with a plastic surgeon.
Just once it would be nice to have something cashiers and customs officials and airport security don’t stare at for ten minutes — looking at the photo, and then at me. At the photo, and back to me. Trying to decide whether or not to have me carted away in handcuffs.
So I’m well aware I’ll have to get it done. But can you blame me for not being in a hurry?
What kind of cameras do they use, anyway? I’ve taken pictures in those photo booths and they’ve turned out better. I’ve photographed myself, using the camera on my iPhone and they’re better. So why are these so universally horrible?
Seriously. There has to be a reason for it. What is it? Do you know anyone who’s had a good photo taken for their driver’s license or their passport? I don’t. And what I don’t get is, wouldn’t you think those are the two pieces of identification where you should look your best? NOT like a fugitive. NOT like you should be arrested.
Wouldn’t you think they’d come up with some new kind of technology so we look our best, and least threatening, when we’re about to get on a plane?
Now I think about it, I have to renew my passport this year, too. In May. Jeez, how unlucky can one girl get?!
No, I will NOT be posting the photos here. Not anywhere else, either. If you’re that desperate to see them, check the post office next time you’re there.